Broke my no-writing streak yesterday (only a few sentences, but it's something!). I've been very slowly writing a new short story, the problem is I'm having more fun fleshing out the character than getting to the actual plot. Got another one on the backburner that I'm too lazy to actually write...also MALABAR's on my mind again so that section might be updated at some point. Not sure how much to post and how much to save...posting the whole thing online as well as having physical print copies available appeals to me (and aligns with the original vision) but considering I only have a couple thousand words so far I think I'm getting ahead of myself.
Still haven't gone to the life drawing class but it will happen eventually. Just not been feeling artistically inclined lately. Ebbs and flows.
Thinking about going to a life drawing class, will post results if so.
Finished another short story on Monday, but it needs editing/rewriting. My burst of artistic motivation seems like it might be waning, and I'm unexpectedly free this weekend, so I'm running out of excuses to put it off...
Sitting, staring at my computer screen, knowing that I should write yet refusing to, scrolling Tumblr, checking my emails, my Neocities feed, my messages, doing anything except opening the document. Which document? I have a sort of poem thing in mind, but I'd rather work on something else. But what? I need to pick SOMETHING. I feel restless.
I've got some time off from work, and I'd like to spend it writing/creating...I haven't started yet, though. Been making excuses, again - I've been sick for about a week, and even though it's mostly gone, I've been feeling under the weather, so I haven't gotten started yet. No more! I start today, no matter what.
I call this one "anxiety sounds":
Had a good sesh at the writing group on Wednesday and wrote 1600 words last night organizing all my plot notes, going to drop it in the Drive over the weekend.
Have started doing a bunch of plotting for a new project because I've decided to maybe take the novel a bit slower and just write self-indulgent stuff to get my confidence up. Problem is, the new project is already getting super convoluted...it's fun, but I worry I'm getting too ahead of myself again.
Also, figuring out the piano software! It's very simple, and I'm just messing around rather than taking serious steps towards learning. I made a little melody this morning:
I was SO productive yesterday and wrote SO much today (nearly finished a chapter! not edited but! nearly finished regardless!) and now I am incredibly burnt out (doesn't help that my sleep problems seem to be getting worse, not better - I barely managed 5 hours, last night). It feels bad obviously but sort of good to have exerted myself? Hoping to be able to get more writing done tomorrow (and perhaps even send an email). I downloaded a free piano program yesterday and have been idly messing around on that, it's fun...we'll see if it goes anywhere. I figure if I keep it up for X amount of time then that's enough of a justification for finally re-acquiring a DAW (haven't for ages because I fear the second I do it'll just languish unused on my laptop in a virtual hobbies graveyard. Many such cases). I reckon the garden guitar is a sign, though.
Had a weird couple days. I think I'm depressed, but not in the dark howling void of despair way, more like drifting aimlessly through a grey fog. I can't write, or more accurately I feel like everything I write sucks - at best I can come up with individual lines + snippets, but it all falls apart when I try to put anything together or build on top.
Haven't written in the past few days, going to try to get on that today. I've been stuck on a scene for awhile but I'm also just having trouble getting the words to flow, even on other projects I try to work on. It's really annoying.
Been writing pretty consistently (not quality writing, but writing nonetheless). Things are going pretty good - if only I didn't feel such crushing anxiety anyway...
Posted the first little bit of my novel in the writing group Drive and got some really nice feedback. Now I just need to finish the chapter. I've committed myself to the lowest possible daily goal, writing for 5 minutes a day - I figure if I can't manage that, I might as well give up writing and find a new hobby to pursue.
Need to WRITE! I've had those two Dali paintings up in a tab for a few days now.
Uploaded some of my poems to the writing group Drive. Still holding out hope I can finish chapter one of my novel by the end of the month, but not really holding my breath. Need to figure out something for this week's Muse Ariadne, too, since I couldn't come up with anything last week.
Discovered Spike Jones yesterday and heard the term "musical doodle" today, both of which rewired my brain a little bit (positive).
I am going to write today. I am going to! I've been majorly slacking.
I haven't been working on my novel the past few days, though I did write yesterday for Muse Ariadne. I've also been discussing my ideas for songs with a friend of mine, and we plan to have a hangout/recording session next week, which is...scary! but exciting! I very very rarely sing in front of anyone so it will definitely be a big step outside my comfort zone.
I got some writing done yesterday, a little over 200 words, and it was very difficult, the hardest it's been so far and I feel like none of it was any good. It sucked! When I shared this with the writing group, they were all very proud, but seemingly not because I pushed through a bad day, moreso because "this is what writing is, it's NOT supposed to be fun." I think that's sort of a weird sentiment, I know writing is not ALWAYS fun and it is OFTEN hard, but specifically thinking of "real writing" being hard and unpleasant? Why do it then? Maybe that sounds flippant or naive, but I always raise an eyebrow whenever someone describes something as "it's supposed to be bad".
No writing yesterday, but I did go to writing group. Going to try to write today, at least 200 words, maybe 3.
Writing slowly but surely. Just broke 1000 words. If I keep it up, I might actually have a complete manuscript by the end of the year - one that I could actually be proud of instead of just word salad to be stuffed in a drawer and never shown to anyone.
Didn't write on Thursday, got 100 words yesterday, nothing yet today (there's still time, though!).
Was supposed to meet up with a friend today but she's feeling ill, so I'm taking that as my sign to WRITE! I got a couple hundred words yesterday, only about half towards my novel, but any progress is progress. I committed last night to posting the first chapter in the writing group Google Drive by the end of the month, so I've got to come through. German youtuber voice let's do it
Was fucked up sleepy all day yesterday so I didn't get much done, just a little bit of editing. Not really feeling this story at the minute. I want to work on my novel! So let's work on that. I've made a friend recently who wants to do character prompts for our respective novels, which I think will be really fun.
Going to actually get some editing done today, by hook or by crook. Messed up my sleep schedule a bit (went to bed at 9:30pm, woke up at 2am, didn't go back to sleep until around 8am, woke up at 11am) so I'm feeling a little out of it, but I'm putting my foot down, I said I was going to do it days ago so I'm gonna do it!
Yesterday actually went pretty well. Was able to write for the first time in ages (albeit only a paragraph), was able to draw. I think my pain is receding. Sun is out today. Maybe everything is not going to be horrible forever.
I've written 3 half-poems and started a new story. More importantly, I've finished the rough draft of a piece of writing that - barring unforeseen circumstances - will be in print by the end of the month. It's not a piece of writing I'm particularly attached to, but still really exciting. First of many!